Think about it. That one time you met someone who seemed like she had it all figured out. You probably thought: She must've been born like that. "She was meant to just know how to enjoy life." Well. Not really. Whether you like to admit it or not - we all started from scratch. The girl who seems like "she's got it all figured out", was once very insecure and lonely. She just realized one thing: that you need to work on it. And she worked on it. Every day. Without stopping. Was it easy? No. But was it worth it? Yes! Because the truth is: Every one of you is capable of anything. You have an infinite amount of power inside of you. You can turn your life around. You can wake up every morning with a smile. YOU can fall in love with every breath you take. Yes! YOU. YOU CAN DO THE IMPOSSIBLE. And you can do it today. But don't get me wrong - this is not a compliment. It's not a cliché. It's not flattery. It's a fact.
But what does it mean to “fall in love with yourself?”
Falling in love with yourself is the ability to make your unconsciousness become conscious. It’s knowing all your mental strengths and weaknesses. It’s having a clear picture of what goes on inside your mind every time you feel anxious, sad, rejected, exhausted or hurt. It’s analyzing how you react to things, noticing the patterns and mentally working out a way for a specific feeling not to happen again. I call it playing chess with yourself.
So what do you do when you play chess with yourself?
First of all, you need a bit of side-information:
Psychologically, you and I are divided into two different personalities; The angel and the devil. You’ve probably seen this concept being played out in cartoons – two different voices are telling you two different things. One is always positive, the other, negative. Some people are very aware of these voices, but others don’t even know of their presence. BUT THEY ARE THERE. Trust me. There are angels and devils within all of us.
What are their roles?
The angel always wants the best for you mentally. It gives you motivation, encourages you to go further and roots for you whenever there’s an obstacle along the way. Its voice sounds a lot like this:
"You can do it! You're not there yet, but you will be if you keep moving forward."
"You're not fit now, but if you maintain a healthy diet and go to the gym, you'll be where you want to be in no time!"
"Okay. This was a bad day. Things didn't turn out the way you wanted them to. But tomorrow is a new day! And it's always dark before the dawn!"
The devil on the other hand always wants the worst for you. But be careful! Because it is usually very good at making negative thoughts seem like the most realistic outcome – it’s voice sounds a little bit like this:
"No. You don't have what it takes. Better quit now before you'll get even more disappointed."
"You're not fit because you never stick to anything. You never manage to keep something a habit. You're useless because you're lazy, and you'll never be able to be anything else."
"This day was horrible. Better take some days off because you deserve it. You deserve it because you can't manage so many things happening all at once. Therefore, you'll never be able to smile every day. Because chaos is all around us."
Notice the difference?
Okay. You’ve come THIS far. You know how powerful each voice can be. You also know (because you know yourself) which one (of these voices) is dominating your every-day life. So … what now? You play chess. You find a way to beat the opposer on the other side of the chess-board (the devil). Notice its voice. What is it telling you? Who’s the devil and who’s the angel? Once you’ve identified both of them, you begin to eliminate the devil’s voice by repeating the angel’s voice to yourself again and again. “I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.” Then, you can continue by arguing for the angel’s voice, and against the devil’s: “Why can you do it? — because you’re awesome. You have done it before and you can do it again. You know what you’re capable of because you have an enormous amount of self-respect and integrity. Others have done it before. Why wouldn’t YOU be able to do it as well?” By doing this exercise, you’ll automatically make the devil fade away. You’ll no longer hear its voice. Time to call out; “Checkmate”! You have defeated your opposer.
Then, the last step: You focus on bringing this exercise into your everyday life.
Follow up on the process; Have conscious conversations with yourself every day – or every time you find yourself doubting something. Don’t stop. Because the minute you stop, you’re at risk of falling back into your old negative thinking-routine. Defeating the devil is something we all can do – simply by playing chess with ourselves. And the minute you know how to do that, you’ve become unstoppable.
You’ve become “the girl who’s in love with every breath she takes”.
Aftur S. Nerdrum